Be well,
Stephanie
The Four Agreements in action...
When I was at home from college one summer, my mom gave me a book.
“Your aunt said this changed her life.” She offered.
“The Four Agreements?” It was small and sturdy in my hands, with a smooth cover and thick pages. It felt different than the hefty anthologies with their thin bible paper that I toted around to my classes.
“You know how she is.” She shrugged.
As an English major, I was enchanted by the idea that a book could change your life, but I was also skeptical. This was, in fact, an aunt that collected rocks, used the word scrumptious to describe woodwork, and had the habit of being overenthusiastic about things in general. Nevertheless, bored and home for the summer, I gave it a read.
The four agreements are as follows:
*Don’t make assumptions
*Don’t take things personally
*Be impeccable with your word
*Always do your best
The idea is if you follow these four simple principles, you live a life that has more contentment and less suffering. The book draws on Toltec traditions and does include some religious connections, which may or may not be something that appeals to you. But, regardless of your beliefs, at their essence, these simple ideas can not only be impactful in your personal life but applicable to your professional life as an educator as well. So here’s a look at the Four Agreements and how they may look used in a school setting.
Don’t make assumptions - root causes of student behavior, the justification for a new initiative, admin’s sudden pop into your classroom, why your colleague is in a bad mood - it’s easy to manufacture the reasons behind these happenings when in reality, you don’t know. Seek information. Making assumptions can cause you unrest, anxiety, and unhappiness.
Don’t take things personally - a student refuses to do work, someone snaps at you in a meeting, a parent questions your curriculum - while we can choose how we respond, we can’t prevent these from happening. People’s choices often reflect their own beliefs or issues and are not about you, even if they get directed at you. When you don’t make assumptions and take things personally, you’re better equipped to face things calmly and thoughtfully. You also feel better and worry less because you have the peace that comes with knowing it’s not about you.
Be impeccable with your word - do what you say you’re going to do, and remove yourself from gossip. As tempting as it can be to listen to the latest school gossip, it can create drama and make you feel a sense of anxiety when you participate. When colleagues confide in you, respect their privacy.
Always do your best - whether it’s in the unit or lesson you’re teaching, navigating a tricky student situation, being observed, or working with colleagues, show up and do the best you can at that moment. Of course, our best isn’t always the same, and that’s okay, but when we put in our total effort, we minimize the feelings of self-doubt and regret that can come when we don’t do our best work.
Sounds simple, right? In theory, but as living, breathing, feeling people, it can be hard to follow these at all times. But, even if you remember them some of the time, they can make a difference in how you feel. You’ll feel less weighed down by worry and negativity and free up more time and mental space for the good stuff.