The line between being someone’s teacher and being someone’s parent can sometimes be a little fuzzy. Certainly during my time teaching high school I loved my students (most of the time) as if they were my own family, and there were moments when I had students who needed me to act in ways that parents usually do. I was always shouting, Make good choices! Be good people!, after them down the hallway, and I had an extra long speech replete with accident statistics for a student when he or she came in with a shiny new driver’s license.
Almost four years ago, in addition to being a teacher, I became a parent. Now I have two children, the almost four year-old, and the newly one year-old, and I find myself wondering, how much teachering should I do as a parent?
I say teachering and not teaching because we naturally teach our children so much - likely because it seems that these almost four year-olds spend the majority of their day asking questions. In my house we do science experiments for fun, turn things we see into math problems, and we have a household culture that emphasizes a love for books and reading. I respect their developmental readiness, and I take cues from what they think is fun and interesting.
What I’m really trying to get to the root of is where my educational and parenting philosophies overlap, the learning environment we create for our children in our home, and what skills and qualities we want to cultivate in them as human beings and learners. Here there is IMMENSE overlap in what I want for students and what I want for my own children.
I believe in kid-centered learning experiences, time for kids to explore and investigate. I believe in giving children the right environment to do that. Why wouldn’t I want that in my home as well? My parents wondered what they could do for my oldest daughter’s upcoming birthday; I asked them to help me build her a makerspace when they visit. I explained its purpose and gave a rough description of what it might look like. When I finish writing I have to take some measurements in my dining room. While I won’t be installing a laser cutter or ponying up for a 3-D printer, I hope that the space inspires creativity, imagination, and making for my girls. (Note: We will also be getting her the bicycle she's coveting.)
This confluence of educator and parent was solidified for me when I read Carol Dweck’s Mindset a couple of years ago, and it re-framed the way that I speak to my children. I try really really hard to tell them that they are doing some great thinking or coming up with good ideas, or that they worked really hard on something as opposed to telling them simply that they’re smart. Truthfully, and only somewhat biasedly, they do seem bright, but I already see how frustrated my oldest daughter gets when she doesn’t get something right away. Here, I’m grateful I have the knowledge to help nurture a growth mindset.
I aim to empower them to be problem solvers, and to me this is may be the most important thing I can do for them. When my children complain I often say to them, You’re a great problem solver! How can we fix this? I knew my message was getting through when I said, Looks like we have an ant problem, and my daughter responded, Good thing we’re problem solvers! One of the happiest and most successful people my husband and I know shared that he wakes up every morning and thinks to himself, What problem can I solve today? What a way to approach life.
There are many qualities that I want to help develop in my children. Since I am moved by the Pirate ways of teaching and learning (Burgess and Solarz), I'll borrow their Pirate spirit for a moment as I outline some of my hopes for raising my daughters to be what I've come to think of as my CO-PIRATES.
Creators – Using creativity and imagination to create whatever it is they dream up.
Open Minded – Being open to new ideas, to changing their minds, and to learning from others all the time.
Problem Solvers – Feeling empowered to approach difficult situations with an inquisitive and solutions-oriented approach.
Intrinsically motivated – Having a love for learning and wanting to learn and grow for the sake of learning and growing.
Reasonable Risk Takers – Taking risks and not fearing failure, but having good wits about them. Being “safe” but not always playing it safe.
Attitude – Being bold even if it’s not popular. Standing up for themselves. Disagreeing with authority when necessary (even me!)
Talent – The support to pursue whatever it is that they love, and nurture it into a talent that makes them happy.
Empathy – Caring and feeling deeply for others.
Self Esteem – A feeling of worth and confidence. Knowing that they are loved and supported unconditionally.
Almost four years ago, in addition to being a teacher, I became a parent. Now I have two children, the almost four year-old, and the newly one year-old, and I find myself wondering, how much teachering should I do as a parent?
I say teachering and not teaching because we naturally teach our children so much - likely because it seems that these almost four year-olds spend the majority of their day asking questions. In my house we do science experiments for fun, turn things we see into math problems, and we have a household culture that emphasizes a love for books and reading. I respect their developmental readiness, and I take cues from what they think is fun and interesting.
What I’m really trying to get to the root of is where my educational and parenting philosophies overlap, the learning environment we create for our children in our home, and what skills and qualities we want to cultivate in them as human beings and learners. Here there is IMMENSE overlap in what I want for students and what I want for my own children.
I believe in kid-centered learning experiences, time for kids to explore and investigate. I believe in giving children the right environment to do that. Why wouldn’t I want that in my home as well? My parents wondered what they could do for my oldest daughter’s upcoming birthday; I asked them to help me build her a makerspace when they visit. I explained its purpose and gave a rough description of what it might look like. When I finish writing I have to take some measurements in my dining room. While I won’t be installing a laser cutter or ponying up for a 3-D printer, I hope that the space inspires creativity, imagination, and making for my girls. (Note: We will also be getting her the bicycle she's coveting.)
This confluence of educator and parent was solidified for me when I read Carol Dweck’s Mindset a couple of years ago, and it re-framed the way that I speak to my children. I try really really hard to tell them that they are doing some great thinking or coming up with good ideas, or that they worked really hard on something as opposed to telling them simply that they’re smart. Truthfully, and only somewhat biasedly, they do seem bright, but I already see how frustrated my oldest daughter gets when she doesn’t get something right away. Here, I’m grateful I have the knowledge to help nurture a growth mindset.
I aim to empower them to be problem solvers, and to me this is may be the most important thing I can do for them. When my children complain I often say to them, You’re a great problem solver! How can we fix this? I knew my message was getting through when I said, Looks like we have an ant problem, and my daughter responded, Good thing we’re problem solvers! One of the happiest and most successful people my husband and I know shared that he wakes up every morning and thinks to himself, What problem can I solve today? What a way to approach life.
There are many qualities that I want to help develop in my children. Since I am moved by the Pirate ways of teaching and learning (Burgess and Solarz), I'll borrow their Pirate spirit for a moment as I outline some of my hopes for raising my daughters to be what I've come to think of as my CO-PIRATES.
Creators – Using creativity and imagination to create whatever it is they dream up.
Open Minded – Being open to new ideas, to changing their minds, and to learning from others all the time.
Problem Solvers – Feeling empowered to approach difficult situations with an inquisitive and solutions-oriented approach.
Intrinsically motivated – Having a love for learning and wanting to learn and grow for the sake of learning and growing.
Reasonable Risk Takers – Taking risks and not fearing failure, but having good wits about them. Being “safe” but not always playing it safe.
Attitude – Being bold even if it’s not popular. Standing up for themselves. Disagreeing with authority when necessary (even me!)
Talent – The support to pursue whatever it is that they love, and nurture it into a talent that makes them happy.
Empathy – Caring and feeling deeply for others.
Self Esteem – A feeling of worth and confidence. Knowing that they are loved and supported unconditionally.