Turns out what is true for student learning may also be true for parenting.
Last night my five-year-old dropped her backpack on the floor and proceeded to tell me, "This was the best day ever. I have a boyfriend. His name is Imtooyoungforthis.*" (*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the child from my husband.)
If I was wearing my teacher hat at work, or talking to a friend's child, I would have responded calmly and rationally, but for some reason when it was my own -- I just didn't know what to say. I knew I didn't want to say the "wrong thing." I want to encourage healthy relationships, appropriate child behavior, a bond of communication between us. What I wanted to say was, "No way! You're way too young for this!"
What I said was, "Wow. Interesting. Hang on one minute. I really need to go to the bathroom."
And off I went with my phone to sit on the side of my bathtub and google, "What to say to my five-year-old when she tells me she has a boyfriend."
Instantly I had access to child psychologists, experts, and parents. I felt a sense of relief. What I saw resonated with my instincts, but also expanded my thinking. I was reassured it wasn't a big deal. I had a few key statements that would help me manage this moment more confidently. I also had an article to send my husband who was en route on the train, so I knew we would be on the same page.
And now here I am sharing this moment with my peers, because I think this silly anecdote is an important reminder of how incredible our access to knowledge and connectedness truly are, and how we constantly return to those skills of seeking, prioritizing, validating, synthesizing, and using information.
I am not going to get everything right as a parent, and I am really okay with that. I promise I will live in moments, and not go to the bathroom for every tough conversation. I know that sometimes just being there is more important than "getting it right."
But it is nice to know that I can practice what I preach and use my learning skills for real world application in the context that matters to me most.